Bodybuilding and Social Media
#sparemethesobstory – If I have to read one more tweet or status update about how angry, hurt, or offended someone is about another person having the audacity to question their lifestyle choices I’m going to put a campfire out with my face. I hate to break this to you, but the fact that your friends and family don’t understand your obsessive need to shovel chicken and rice down your throat every three hours, or why you “spend so much time at the gym”, doesn’t qualify have your name put on the Mount Rushmore of martyrs who were persecuted for their cause.
Here’s a new flash: bodybuilding is a strange and unusual thing done by strange and unusual people. Bodybuilders are a different breed, and outsiders don’t get it – whatever “it” means. But that isn’t a crime. The only crime in the whole situation is people believing they have the right to complain when they bought themselves a one way ticket to the lonely island of bodybuilding.
Suck it up. Go get a dog. Go get a therapist. Or go find yourself a “swole-mate” who’s going to love and understand you unconditionally for the selfish, egocentric person that you most certainly are.
#firstworldproblems – My astute observational skills combined with copious amounts of real life experience have led me to the follow conclusion: Dieting sucks. Busting your ass for a twelve, sixteen, or twenty week contest diet is a brutal test of the highest mental and physical capacity an athlete can go through. You’re constantly tired. You’re moody. You don’t sleep right. And the smell of bacon could potentially turn you into a flesh eating walker a la The Walking Dead because there comes a point in every diet where you’re so hungry you would almost literally eat anything.
That being said, please do us all a favor during your next diet and don’t complain about the fact that you are intentionally making yourself hungry for aesthetic purposes by giving us daily updates on how it’s becoming a major strain in your life right now.
Grow up and get some perspective. Everyday there are people who are locked in a struggle with survival, that are praying they have enough food and clean water to put on the table to feed their families. Their hungry and your hungry aren’t the same thing. Stop complaining, start counting your blessings, and realize just how fortunate you are that you have the ability to eat your dozen egg whites and organic broccoli, washed down with a tall cold glass of alkaline water as ONE of your SIX meals that day.
#stopcallingyourworkoutwork – Earlier in the year there was a list compiled of the twenty-five worst jobs in the US that contained things like: lumberjack, firefighter, garbage collector, enlisted military personnel, correctional officer, roofer, welder, farmer, dock worker, and butcher.
And while I may not be intimately familiar with any of the careers on the aforementioned list, I can tell you one thing. All of them are infinitely much more difficult and stressful than being a bodybuilder. Yes, I will concede the fact that workout does contain the word “work”, but in no way, shape, or form, am I confusing fasted cardio with risking life and limb while cutting down trees in freezing temperatures as resembling anything remotely close to being work. It’s insulting to people who actually have to get up and put themselves through hell to earn a living
“Time to go put in work, light work, slight work, Let’s Werq”, or any other connotation equating bodybuilding to doing actual work is a joke.
Is training like you’re possessed, dieting your ass off, and doing cardio while silently contemplating throwing yourself head first off the StepMill if you have to go through one more day of spending your time endlessly drudging away while you’re sweat soaked and starving difficult? Yes, it absolutely is. But please let’s not confuse your climate controlled pursuit of bodily perfection with anything along the lines of doing actual work.
#youkindofinvitedit – When you post half-naked, soft core porn selfies with the “come get me” face on day-after-day all over social media – you wave the right to complain about getting weird messages from even weirder dudes, who may or may not be stalking you … and then claim to be horrified, disgusted, and offended.
While I fully understand the desire to show off all of the time and effort you’ve put into looking great, and I firmly believe in your rights not to be harassed or made to feel uncomfortable, you’ve got to come join the rest of us here on planet Earth and realize exactly what signals it is that you’re sending out to everyone.
Let’s examine this from another angle shall we? If I go park my car in the worst neighborhood I can find, then walk away leaving it unattended while it’s running with the keys in it and the windows down, should I be mad when I come back eight hours later and my car is missing? Absolutely not, because I indirectly hang the “come steal and sell me for parts” sign up in the window by making a series of poor choices.
And the same thing applies here. If you behave in such a way that invites Stalker Joe Schmoe to seek you out in the bad neighborhood of bodybuilding that is full of strange and questionable characters, with little to no morals then I’m sorry, but you’re kind of asking for it.